Not Hammer time - yet

I don't usually remember dreams after I wake up, but I had a dream last night that kept me from sleeping soundly, and is therefore blogworthy.

Our bedroom faces our driveway, and we usually have the curtains closed. In my dream, they were open, and Ted and I were talking when 5 rough-looking people started creeping down the slope of the hill. I had them in full view and was a little freaked out by their appearance, and was even more freaked out when they just slowly turned the doorknob to our front door and walked right in.

Now, you know when you watch scary movies and some strange sound is heard which makes the main character want to "check it out"? I know that "checking it out" moves the plot forward, but I can't help but think that character is very stupid for leaving the safety of a locked room uninhabited by strange bumps and sharp objects to go face the freakiness that must be awaiting him/her.

I was that stupid person in my dream.

There they were, creeping through our hallway and into our kitchen and dining room. In a low voice, I demanded they tell me who they were and what they wanted. One of them got angry at this question and produced a rusty, heavy hammer from behind his back. He walked toward me with much stealth, each step exponentially decreasing my confidence level. Ted joined me at that point, but stood behind me instead of in front of me. Thanks, baby.

I told them I didn't know why they were here, but that there was no reason we couldn't figure something out. That's when Hammer Guy got really freaky and started banging dents into our beautiful dining room table that we got from Easy Life Furniture* - where "the only way to get it cheaper is if you import it yourself, but you don't know how" - and basically making me very upset.

THAT'S when I remembered the crapload of cookies I made last Sunday (which was both in my dream and for real). I had been craving the amazing chocolate chip cookies that Dana has brought to a few functions, so I finally busted them out Sunday afternoon, much to the pleasure of Ted and me. This recipe really does make a crapload, though, so I had to freeze half. It was this bag of frozen cookies that I took out of the freezer and assuaged our dining room table attackers with. I had to talk to each one, but I offered the cookies, and as they chewed and smiled, the anger passed and they left, with no further scathing.

That's where my dream ended, but I'm telling you - if you ever find yourself in this situation, you better hope to high heaven you have some of those cookies in your freezer, or you will be headed straight to the ER. That is... if they let you live.. MWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Cookies That Prevent You From Getting Hit in the Head with a Hammer

1 Cup Shortening
1 Cup Butter
1 ½ Cup White Sugar
1 ½ Cup Brown Sugar

3 eggs
2 tsp Vanilla

5 ½ Cups Flour
1 ½ tsp Baking Soda
1 ½ Salt

1-2 bags Semi-Sweet Choc Chips

- In a mixer (or with hand mixer) cream together the shortening, butter, and both sugars.

- Add the eggs and vanilla and beat for THREE minutes (beating for a full 3 minutes is very important. You’ll see the consistency of the batter change as you beat the eggs with the butter mixture).

- In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

- Mix half the flour mixture into the butter/egg mixture. When it’s incorporated, mix in the other half of the flour. Add the chocolate chips (I like to use 2 small bags of chips. Sometimes I use 1 bag milk chips and 1 bag semi-sweet chips)

- Using 2 spoons, drop spoonfuls of dough onto cookie sheet, or use a mini cookie-scooper.
- Bake at 350 degrees appx 7 minutes. The key is to leave them a little doughy. You’ll know they’re done when they are just slightly golden on top. If you wait till the bottoms are golden, you’ve cooked too long.

Makes 5-6 dozen cookies**

Thanks for letting me live, Dana!

* - This is truly the jingle on the radio commercial for Easy Life Furniture. When Ted first told me, I didn't believe him, and would wait for the commercials just so I could hear it. He was totally right, and now it's our favorite jingle to sing. Some of you have been blessed to hear it from our lips. Others of you can only hope.

** - This is a lie. If you use a small cookie scoop, it makes about 8 dozen. Not that I'm complaining. See previous post.