August 16, 2008

Who ARE you?




We are currently in Portland, hanging out with the Westovers (Bestovers, if you're talking to Ted). We've missed their company horribly since they left last November, so our summer vacation time has included shoving them back into our lives. If you don't know them, that's fine. You'll get a glimpse soon enough.

You can always tell a little bit about a child's parents from the children themselves, so it was a shock to me when George (their 6-yr old) made a couple of comments that were quite out of the ordinary, not only for his personality, but for John's (his dad) as well.

The first happened at the "Omsome" OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry). We had a good half day of playing with all the dinosaurs and those brain teaser puzzles that they put in there just for adults, so when it was time to leave, Christy made us all go potty, including myself. I waited for George to finish, and walked into the bathroom as he was drying his hands. I asked him if everything came out okay, which he answered in the affirmative. He paused, then said "Make sure you don't poop out the baby." I almost laughed heartily until I realized he was serious, so I responded just as seriously, "I'll try not to." He thought about that for a few seconds and asked, "What happens if you do?" I didn't have a ready answer, but without going into too much anatomy that his parents aren't ready for, I said, "It's up there pretty tightly. It's not going anywhere." He seemed satisfied at that, so he left the bathroom while I got a good laugh.




Now, if you know George, you know he's a very tactile child. Anything that has an aesthetic surface, he explores it with his hands, and that includes EG's legs in fishnets, my upper thighs in pantyhose, and anyone dressed in velvet. Many a prediction has been made about the Future George in reference to this character trait, none of which I'll "touch" on here. He also has a fascination with breasts, since he's not used to seeing any in his own house. My first realization with this was when he was sitting on my lap in a restaurant. He looked down my shirt, turned to Christy, and said, "Mom, why does she have a bum on her front?" Tact is not his strong point.

The move to Oregon must have changed this boy, for he is no longer his father's son. I let him climb on my back when we visited Multnomah Falls and when his head got high enough to peer over my shoulder, I was shocked to hear him say, "I don't want to see your bosom" as he slid down my back again.



The MOST tactless thing to come out of this boy's mouth (so far) happened when we were trying to pack 4 adults and 3 children with car seats into the minivan. The car seats had to be shuffled around, but I offered to sit in the back between two of them to ease some of the difficulty, mentioning sarcastically "because I am looking REEEAAAAALLLLLLL SKINNY these days". Quite matter-of-factly, George turned around and said, "No you're not. Look at your tummy."

I'd like to use the excuse that I have "a baby in there", but I'm only barely starting to pooch out, so who am I kidding? Thanks, dude, for helping me see myself in a clearer light. 'Preciate ya.

11 comments:

Marianne said...

Damn it George Westover is funny! I miss you Allison Syphus...and yes, I mean it in a very gay way (as long as I get to be the girl :) ). Congratulations on the baby. So so exciting!
xoxox

The Hyer Family said...

Al, that was a damn good laugh at 6:23 in the morning...so you're losin' your lovin' from George, huh? I hear you on the belly thing--it only gets worse my fellow pregs...

lyndsey said...

HAHAHA i'm sorry but those are hilarious. i wish i could have met this family. priceless comments from the child...kids say the darndest things :)

we do miss you around here...seeing your mom leading the music just isn't the same.

Renee said...

Oh, I love little Georgie!! And let's not kid ourselves. He was reachin' for my "bum in the front" the other night...and I think he uses the "pull your cami up" trick as a ploy. How else is he going to get in close without getting into trouble. Kid is smart...I mean, he can pronounce Amphitryon!!

La La Land said...

Oh how I love George! Didn't he call your cleavage your front bottom once? I miss you!

La La Land said...

Oh how I love George! Didn't he call your cleavage your front bottom once? I miss you!

Erika Gunn said...

Classic George moments. I dont' think I can show Billy this post..he misses George too much as is. I am tots jeals that you got to visit the Westies. It's on our To-do list for sure!

Kathleen said...

Just wait until you can't tie your own shoes...I'd like to hear George's comments on that.

willisness said...

Laughing out loud... I knew I was a blog stalker for a reason. This post was hooterlarious!

curg said...

Oh, Assie! Well, it's the weekend now so I can breathe again. I was going to apologize for being so absent during your time here, but then I saw the libelous comments you made about me and well, I've reconsidered. George & the Janer miss you immensely & so does their mother. I do hope you found Oregon and the aerobed in George's unfinished bedroom to your liking. Did you want me to send back the bra you left in his sock drawer? ;)

charrette said...

Hilarious kid! Wow!

I just wish you were at MY house again!
Come back soon!

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