The Verdict

I visited the ol' DTD last Friday ("Down There Doctor" for anyone who doesn't read that one hysterical blog) and the ulrasound showed a child that was more me this time than Ted. Read: not demure nor modest in actions.

For the poetic:





For the science nerds:



For those who love Aerosmith as much as I:



I got a full frontal from this girl. I have a feeling this will be the first time of many I'll be telling our daughter to close her legs. My mom had to tell me all the time.

Celebration of Womanhood

I'm not a morning person. I have to force myself to get up between 5 and 5:30am (depending on that day's level of hair cleanliness) so I can catch the train to get to work with a little breathing time before the kids start marching through the door. Therefore, my face remains pretty stoic (and usually unmoisturized - crap! forgot again...) until someone in my first period cracks a joke or I get into entertainment mode.

So imagine my surprise when on my drive down to the train station, I spotted a car with this on the bumper:



Not only did I get a giggle just looking at this new variation on breast cancer awareness, but I kept a smile on my face from then until work started, remembering all the nicknames that my thesaurus-esque husband has just for women's breasts. I've written down a list that is by NO MEANS exclusive. I welcome any additions.

YA-YAS: a close relative to the ta-tas, but with an added component of ability to be "covered up" when overheard making comments. Example:
Man to male friend: And then the global economy is just going to skyrocket!
Male friend: Ya. Ya.
Man: (whispering) Where?

And don't think I didn't giggle (and still do) when the Ya-Ya Sisterhood movie came out. Hello!

HOOTERS: Made popular by that chicken-wing restaurant.

BOCCE BALLS: A new entry, inspired by the woman in this post

MELONS: And all variations on the fruit theme - casabas, cantaloupes, mangos, coconuts, pineapple (hey, I've heard it), peaches, apples, lemons, pears (shape matters), etc.

CANS: The non-recyclable kind. But VERY earth-friendly nonetheless.

CHESTICLES: For those with a particular kind of envy.

HEADLIGHTS: Still trying to figure out where the switch is.

BAZONGAS: Or bajongas. Or bongos.

MAMMARIES: The list wouldn't be complete without the anatomical name. For that matter,

TEATS/UDDERS: Utterly appropriate for nursing days. Also recently heard: "milk machines." I have creative friends.

THE TWINS: Closely related are "the sisters" and "the girls".

JUGS: Usually reserved for a large set, or in reference to a new mom whose milk "just came in" (the letdown reflex), resulting in porn-star boobs.

FRONTS: Ted's personal favorite.

CHI-CHIS: This is really the only foreign language one I know. I like the name, but these aren't the kind I have, unfortunately.

LOVELIES: Nor these.

PILLOWS: This is more my style. Especially lately.

TUNE IN TOKYO: No explanation will be given here.

FUNBAGS: No explanation necessary.

MOSQUITO BITES: All apologies to my small-breasted friends and family. Solution: get pregnant and keep nursing until you die. And...

RACK: You didn't think our blog name was in reference to baked goods, did you? hehehehehehehe

Ladies, be proud of your sets, whatever ya ya got.