I'm not a morning person. I have to force myself to get up between 5 and 5:30am (depending on that day's level of hair cleanliness) so I can catch the train to get to work with a little breathing time before the kids start marching through the door. Therefore, my face remains pretty stoic (and usually unmoisturized - crap! forgot again...) until someone in my first period cracks a joke or I get into entertainment mode.
So imagine my surprise when on my drive down to the train station, I spotted a car with this on the bumper:
Not only did I get a giggle just looking at this new variation on breast cancer awareness, but I kept a smile on my face from then until work started, remembering all the nicknames that my thesaurus-esque husband has just for women's breasts. I've written down a list that is by NO MEANS exclusive. I welcome any additions.
YA-YAS: a close relative to the ta-tas, but with an added component of ability to be "covered up" when overheard making comments. Example:
Man to male friend: And then the global economy is just going to skyrocket!
Male friend: Ya. Ya.
Man: (whispering) Where?
And don't think I didn't giggle (and still do) when the Ya-Ya Sisterhood movie came out. Hello!
HOOTERS: Made popular by that chicken-wing restaurant.
BOCCE BALLS: A new entry, inspired by the woman in this post
MELONS: And all variations on the fruit theme - casabas, cantaloupes, mangos, coconuts, pineapple (hey, I've heard it), peaches, apples, lemons, pears (shape matters), etc.
CANS: The non-recyclable kind. But VERY earth-friendly nonetheless.
CHESTICLES: For those with a particular kind of envy.
HEADLIGHTS: Still trying to figure out where the switch is.
BAZONGAS: Or bajongas. Or bongos.
MAMMARIES: The list wouldn't be complete without the anatomical name. For that matter,
TEATS/UDDERS: Utterly appropriate for nursing days. Also recently heard: "milk machines." I have creative friends.
THE TWINS: Closely related are "the sisters" and "the girls".
JUGS: Usually reserved for a large set, or in reference to a new mom whose milk "just came in" (the letdown reflex), resulting in porn-star boobs.
FRONTS: Ted's personal favorite.
CHI-CHIS: This is really the only foreign language one I know. I like the name, but these aren't the kind I have, unfortunately.
LOVELIES: Nor these.
PILLOWS: This is more my style. Especially lately.
TUNE IN TOKYO: No explanation will be given here.
FUNBAGS: No explanation necessary.
MOSQUITO BITES: All apologies to my small-breasted friends and family. Solution: get pregnant and keep nursing until you die. And...
RACK: You didn't think our blog name was in reference to baked goods, did you? hehehehehehehe
Ladies, be proud of your sets, whatever ya ya got.