September 3, 2008

Good for a Giggle

Target was already one of my favorite stores for obvious one-stop-shopping reasons (new reason: cute maternity clothes!). And now I love it for people-watching and overhearing conversations.

You know what I'm talking about: the couples who argue over what toothpaste is better, the Spinal-Tap-esque morons who turn up the volume on the stereos just to see which one is louder, the kids screaming in the toy section. I made a trip there on Labor Day and had two amusing encounters, which I'd love to recount just for fun. The first was in the food section. As I walked down one aisle, I saw a girl bent over to pick up a 12-pack of Diet Coke (aka "Sweet Nectar"). A man I couldn't see was telling her in quite a feminine voice, "Sweetie, ugh. Diet Coke is SO much worse for you than regular Coke. There have been studies, fer sure." She didn't heed this advice (good girl), but as I came around the corner I saw where the comment came from - a dude who looked a lot like this:



Can we say, severe case of pot calling the kettle black? No wonder she disregarded him.



The other instance was in the Health/Beauty section which is right across from the Lingerie section ("Ropa Intima" if you're Spanish-speaking, or Ted). I had just picked up my contact solution when I spotted a distracted mother pushing her toddler daughter in a cart. The toddler saw the display of colored bras and exclaimed, "Mama, look! Covers for the milkies!" Her mom, not even half-listening, responded with "Uh huh..." as I passed with my hand over my mouth in glee.

And speaking of funny things kids say, I have to relate another story that has nothing to do with Target. I called an old mission companion a couple nights ago and we just laughed and laughed for over an hour. She told me a story of her 4-yr-old boy's discovery. As she was cleaning up from dinner one night, he came into the room stark naked, lifted up his "peter" (her term) and exclaimed, "Mom! Under here are my nuts!!" She glared at her husband who was in hysterics. His only defense: "What was I supposed to tell him??" Ah, anatomy.

10 comments:

curg said...

ropa intima, milkies, nuts. blogging gold.

Jean said...

HAHAHAHAHA

Milkies... love it.

The Hyer Family said...

love it...although I will say that those skimpy little bra-types will not cover my milkies (nor yours, I might add)...I need a tent for these girls when the dairy arrives

Renee said...

wonderful...one more word for Ted to use in reference to his favorite body part. I'm not sure if it's more or less obvious than "fronts".

I'm into stitches. said...

Following the m-o, the usual suspects all beat me to the comment board. Fantastic. That's what I get for being glued to Sarah Palin for hours. (Whoa, now THAT'S a pretty hot visual) Now I will drop down precious pearls for no one to see. Nonetheless, I shall proceed.

First off, if my wifey could fit in one of those without looking for some extra connective tissue (as long as we're on anatomy terminology...), I would be a happy man. That out of the way...

I discovered the joys(?) of people watching with the proliferation of Wal-Mart's in my area. Fortunately the category is usually relegated to the lower strata of society, making for the best if not eye-burning class of people to observe.

What I also discovered is that with the proliferation of this same strata, they tend to spill out of the confines of Wal-Mart just as their butt cracks, thong straps and adipose tissue spill out of their holey cut-offs. The latest gem, Allison, is that pic I emailed to you of the 'girl' in too-short shorts, too-big blouse size, and that SWEET black AC/DC 1984 shirt that couldn't keep her body parts in check.

Love to see your comments, keep it up. XOXO

Kizzycakes said...

thank you for the assison giggles. i miss them.

Cari said...

Nibble thingys (really it's "singys") is what "milky covers" are called around here...

John C. said...

Allison, two words: SEWING KIT!!!
John Clason here...got your note on our blog. We've gotta catch up, send me a note at john.clason@gmail.com

charrette said...

Disneyland is another good people-watching hot-spot. We saw a 65-year-old GRANDMA there covered in tattoos (full sleeves, full back -- in a halter top) in the malt shop there. WHERE was my camera?!?

And the milky covers? The ones used for my grandma's very AMPLE chest were referred to by my cousin and I as "hats for Siamese twins!"

willisness said...

My milkshake brings all the guys in the yard........

The Cooling Rack

Baked goods are only half the story...