May 8, 2009

Studentisms 5.0

Time for another installment of those darndest things kids say!

I re-entered the working world last week, and I'd like to say I'm none the worse for wear, but I'd be lying. State testing is coming up next week, so I've been spending this week reviewing everything they should have learned since September. Oh, the horror. President Bush was off his rocker if he thought his NCLB program would ensure that all students would receive an equal education and reach the same levels of standards. Just for one week, I'd like for him to correct the work and listen to the answers I've been getting lately.

me: What is the density of a 15 gram block of aluminum that has a volume of 5.5 cubic centimeters?
Tito: 2 point something cubed squared?
me: What kind of unit is "cubed squared"?
Tito: Heh heh. Is it wrong?
me: Um, yes.

On second thought, our former President Bush just might have given an answer like that, so maybe he's under the impression that our inner city students are absolute geniuses.

I love this next one. It gives a glimpse into what kind of cultural background some of these students come from.

me: What type of organic molecule is DNA, and why is it important to life?
Anderson: Maybe you had a relationship and a baby is born. You're not sure if it's yours and you just do the DNA.
me: I really hope you're not speaking from personal experience.
Anderson: I'm just being hypothesis.
me: You mean "hypothetical"?
Anderson: Huh?

"Do the DNA" has become one of my favorite phrases now. I think I know what he meant (testing DNA for particular markers to determine paternity), but he has no idea what the process is, how it works, or even where someone's DNA can be found. He just knows you can "do it." I wonder if it's going to be a new nerdy version of doing the Hustle and if we need to come up with a dance for it. If so, I totally volunteer. As if my students don't think I'm the biggest dork already.


RB Larsen Blog said...

Ok I have been out of school since 1981, I really didn't know the answer to your first questions, but the second, hey I know "how to DNA" anyway, what a joke, well I hope they pass the tests, do they get a pass on some of the questions? Like "I didn't learned that?" Love you Sweetie, keep up the good work!!!. Mary Harmon

The Bunker Family said...

Maybe you should invite Maury Povich to come to the classroom to translate for you! he knows all dat baby daddy talk.

Syphus Circus said...

HA ha haha heheheh. I'm glad it's you, but I enjoy that you share it with us! You should trademark that phrase, it may be the "future"!

The Hytes said...

I'm glad I never had to take chemistry. It's WAY over my head! All I can say is Tessa has one PATIENT mom! Now, go do the DNA. (I can't wait to see it.)

B Brown said...

My husband told someone the other day that Max was 19 months years old. Exactly what kind of length of time is that teacher dear?

That DNA comment totally made me think of the Maury Povich show! It seems all he does these days are paternity tests.

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