Studentisms 2.0

School's finally out, and I already have our principal emailing me about behavior plans and what-not for next year. Blah. Leave me alone for one second!! In any case, since I don't have students for another two months, I thought I'd send out another installment of funny things those wacky kids say!

I was teaching about the Solar System one day. I was interrupted mid-sentence with:

Ellis: Who named these planets?
me: Humans.
Ellis: The names are stupid. I'd name them differently if I was in charge.
me: What would you name them?
Ellis: I'd name Earth "Aqua". And Jupiter would be "The Big Planet". And Uranus would just be "Butt".




During the explanation of the "Egg Drop Project", where students try to increase shock apsorption in a container to prevent a fresh egg inside it from breaking:

Danny: Are there prizes for unbroken eggs?
Ayush: (sarcastically) Yes. It's sponsored by Honda.

Close to the end of the school year, the 8th grade teachers need to help the students know what they need to know and do before graduation. One teacher in particular has discussed it ad nauseam:

Carlos: Hi Allison.

me: Hey Carlos - what's up?

Carlos: What present do you want for us graduating? I'm getting Jean a muzzle.

My 8th graders "graduated" last Thursday and I didn't shed a tear. They did, however, vote for me to speak at their ceremony, so I went against graduation ceremony speech conventions (I know, surprise surprise) and read a children's book from the podium: Max Lucado's You Are Special. I'm such a dork - I did all the voices and everything, but the kids seemed to like it. I've been telling them all year whenever they roll their eyes at me that every good teacher has a little bit of dork in them.