October 24, 2008


Last year we got into Halloween in a big way.  We thought, "we're in a house, we're going to get all sorts of trick-or-treaters!"  So we went to the local pumpkin patch, aka the parking lot of CVS/pharmacy, to pick up the perfect orange gourd.  It came replete with a petting zoo and a little false advertising.  See the sign below.  There weren't any horses, golden retrievers, squirrels, pigs, great blue herons or velociraptors to be found.  Try goats and chickens.  Later it was pointed out to me that it isn't actually a velociraptor on the far right.  It's a monkey (there weren't any monkeys to pet either), but I could have sworn that it was the infamous flesh-eating dinosaur.  To me the tail and the branch are the dino's neck and head respectively, the monkey's legs are the raptor's scrawny forearms, the monkey's head is its tail and the monkey's forearms are the legs.  I had all these horrible images of a Jurassic Park style meltdown in the drug store parking lot.  Alas, the biggest risk was a case of avian flu.

You know what though?  We didn't get even one measly trick-or-treater.  We had to eat all those yummy Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Almond Joys, Hershey's Minis and Peanut M&Ms by ourselves.  I blame our neighborhood for any and all weight gain we may have experienced.  I can't imagine why we got completely ignored.  Look at our lovely initial emblazoned jack-o'-lantern (no double entendre intended)!  I'll admit I was a tad bit suspicious that we were going to have some extra candy on our hands though when I didn't see a single little ghost or ghoul in our neighborhood on the way home.  Things could be different though this year, right?  We better start stocking up on candy right now.  We'd hate to run out.


Kathleen said...

Always better to be save than sorry...you can Fedex the extras to us. Trick or treat?

The Hytes said...

T + A and a Petting Zoo??? No wonder kids didn't show up. HA! Seriously though, does anyone do a trunk or treat down there in Cali? Seems to be all we have up here in UT.

Jean said...

Yep! That's how Halloween is for us too. We buy all this candy, and then no trick-or-treaters whatsoever. So we sit on the couch with the bowl of candy in my lap, watching a Halloween movie and eating all of it ourselves. :-)

...But this year WE'LL be going trick-or-treating!! Weston is our golden ticket to candy heaven. Bwah ha ha.

Stars&Straps said...

Oh, man! Am I doomed to no-show treaters as well?? I thought that if you were in a house...a neighborhood...that tricker-treaters were just a given! Dang...I hope we get at least a couple. All of my efforts could be in vain... come to our place if you would like some company...trick-or-treaters or not! We'll have food and grown-ups!
- Krisha G.

Renee said...

Ted, I'm with you...I totally thought it was a velociraptor as well.

I think the terrorists have won. Evidence = no trick-or-treaters. I lived in DC on 9/11/01. Just a month and a half later on Halloween, the streets were empty and I remember everyone talking about not letting their kids go out for fear of terrorists. I'm afraid that they haven't been back out in full force since then. Oh the shame!! How can we let them win???

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