Last year we got into Halloween in a big way. We thought, "we're in a house, we're going to get all sorts of trick-or-treaters!" So we went to the local pumpkin patch, aka the parking lot of CVS/pharmacy, to pick up the perfect orange gourd. It came replete with a petting zoo and a little false advertising. See the sign below. There weren't any horses, golden retrievers, squirrels, pigs, great blue herons or velociraptors to be found. Try goats and chickens. Later it was pointed out to me that it isn't actually a velociraptor on the far right. It's a monkey (there weren't any monkeys to pet either), but I could have sworn that it was the infamous flesh-eating dinosaur. To me the tail and the branch are the dino's neck and head respectively, the monkey's legs are the raptor's scrawny forearms, the monkey's head is its tail and the monkey's forearms are the legs. I had all these horrible images of a Jurassic Park style meltdown in the drug store parking lot. Alas, the biggest risk was a case of avian flu.
You know what though? We didn't get even one measly trick-or-treater. We had to eat all those yummy Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Almond Joys, Hershey's Minis and Peanut M&Ms by ourselves. I blame our neighborhood for any and all weight gain we may have experienced. I can't imagine why we got completely ignored. Look at our lovely initial emblazoned jack-o'-lantern (no double entendre intended)! I'll admit I was a tad bit suspicious that we were going to have some extra candy on our hands though when I didn't see a single little ghost or ghoul in our neighborhood on the way home. Things could be different though this year, right? We better start stocking up on candy right now. We'd hate to run out.