Maybe it's because the winner knew that's what his daddy does all the time.
Maybe it was the only caption I read while fully awake.
Maybe it's because it was put to the tune of a Primary song that appealed to my naughty-with-the-nice facade nature.
In any case, the winner is clauss house. Congrats! Hopefully you'll share them with your husband and only gain half the poundage! Yay!
To all who participated, thank you. I had a couple of doozy captions myself, one of which was "Dude, those aren't handwarmers", but so many others were possible that I thought it'd be fun to open it up to anyone else. We enjoyed it!